When We Pause, Time Finds Us

Well then, Tauri has completed another trip around the sun!

A very, VERY strange year. I took time off. Completely. Like a basketball team that is losing in the middle of a game and calls a timeout to talk things over. Except I did not figure anything out... So a minute became an hour, and a day became weeks. Several months later, my timeout is still going 😃

I have worked hard all my life, and in autumn I put all “business” on hold. First I stopped going to the office. I thought it would be better to stay home with my children and help them catch up with school. I would give my time to them instead. But it turned out that I was the one who received the gift: the time we spent together brought us closer. I realized this was the last possible moment to do it — soon they will be grown. That was close! Lucky me.

Things also began to change when I visited my hometown in the countryside. One winter day, my mother asked whether I would go for a walk with her because her other walking partner could not make it. Me? Go walking in freezing weather? Are you crazy? But... I do have time now. Hmm. Two pairs of trousers — perhaps it will not be so cold? 🙂 Why not give some of my time to my mother too?

But, surprise — once again, I was the one who received the gift. My mother and I were very close when I was a child, but over time we grew apart. Even when I tried to talk about my life, her nose often seemed to be buried in a newspaper or a computer screen while her ears were turned toward the television 😃 But when we went walking, would you believe it — she did not bring any newspapers. Or a monitor and a television 😃 For the first time in a very long while, I felt that she was REALLY listening to me. And perhaps also for the first time in a long while, I noticed that I was really listening to her. Sometimes we both simply listened to the birdsong. We do not always have to talk.

I have also been “giving” time to myself. For years, I had thought about what I might do “someday”, but someday never seemed to arrive 🙂 There was always work to do. Not anymore. I retired. Perhaps temporarily 🙂 Now I have simply been. Experimenting. Learning. Playing. Restoring old photographs. Trying things with video. Organizing my audiobook collection and discovering many wonderful new authors. And as the final item on my bucket list, I made it through most of the notes I had written down from books over a dozen years — for myself, for a future “me”. For today. Because I think I always hoped that one day I would finally have time to read them. And learn from them.

I will end this post with something that happened after two retirees — my mother and I — talked about life’s joys on a walk. When we got home, the older retiree sent the younger one something: “Look, this came up on Facebook — it is as if someone summed up our entire conversation in a single picture.” And the picture said:

Life’s real luxuries
— Time
— Health
— Peace of mind
— Slow mornings
— Opportunities to travel
— Resting without guilt
— Deep sleep
— Peaceful, “boring” days
— Meaningful conversations
— Home-cooked food
— People you love
— People who love you back

So I would sum up my past year like this: time never stops, but sometimes, by pausing ourselves, we discover that this is when it reaches us. Strange, is it not? I wish you all the best — peace in your heart and a sparkle in your eyes. If you ever want to meet and simply chat, I am here 😉